Half Marathon number 2.

Saturday May 19th will mark 2 months since when I run my 2nd half marathon.  Time really goes by so fast when you are training for a milestone and when you are done it feels like you need to take a long vacation.  Well that is exactly what I did when I run my 2^nd half marathon and I spent a week in Siesta Key, FL with great friends.  After celebrating jumping that hurdle, shortly came my birthday celebrations, and a few pounds later I have been feeling so much heavier and slower 😊

Although I may not have shared my weekly updates about my training like I did the first time there was no difference when it came to the pain, hard work, sweat, tears and a few pain killers when needed during the training.  I thought this journey would be easier since I had done it before and I had told myself that I would probably be a lot leaner and fitter (yeah right).  None of that happened 😊 instead I felt slower and fatter and just had all these negative vibes going on in my head.  About 2 weeks before the race, we got an email from the race organizers that they were introducing a 10k to the route.  After I read that email my mind was torn between doing the 10k or the half marathon.  That temptation stayed dangling in my mind until the day of the race however, I just could not justify why I would take a week away from work and not run the half marathon while on the other hand I didn’t have to prove anything to anybody.

Race Day:

I earned my medal

The race started at 6:30 am and it was about 68 degrees F (20 degrees C) with almost 100% humidity which means it was too hot by the time we were starting the race. I had done all my training during the winter and with cold temperatures.  I was so hot, sweaty, and exhausted by the time I got to mile 1.  The start line had runners who were either going to run the half, first leg of the relay as well as the 10k.  By mile 3, I knew I was going to run the 10k and that was it and it was going to be ok with the decision I made.  From mile 3, there was another runner who had about the same pace as I did and we had kept pacing each other up until mile 6. At this point we were both huffing and puffing as well as listening to our individually played music so you can imagine what we both sounded like when we were singing.  My lovely friend Jackie came over to meet us and handed us water and showed me the 10k sign and asked me if I was going to continue with the half or just finish with the 10k since I had told her that my journey was ending at the 10k point.  As human beings, we are always quick to judge and make up stories about people just by seeing them.  I had compared myself to this lady who I had just met and who I will call Suzy (not her real name).  I decided that if she continues with the half marathon and I turn off at the 10k point she would have won and I would have failed.  That was my story and I was sticking to it.  So, I assumed that because we were both plus size runners we both must stop running because it is hot and we should both be exhausted because I was exhausted and felt I needed company to justify not completing the race that I had signed up for which was still going to be ok.

Well Suzy, went past the 10k turn off point while singing and I turned and looked at Jackie and told her I was going to keep going.  I didn’t have the right attitude and spent mile 7 comparing myself to Suzy and kept on wondering why she didn’t just stop running since I was now at a point I really hated why I continued the race.  Fast forward we started talking to each other during the race and I found out she was such a nice positive person who kept on encouraging me and reminded me that although we might not look like the other faster runners who we saw on the course we are both moving faster than anyone else on the couch.  We both finished the race and although the last mile felt a lot harder for me because there was a change in the course from the previous year we did it. 

My AHA moment after the race was that one should never compare themselves to other people in whatever journey you are going through in life.  You don’t know what they have gone through and you do not have a right to judge somebody because of how they look, how fast, or slow they move or whatever challenge or success they might be going through at the time.  A mile is a mile no matter how fast or slow one is moving and one’s attitude plays a big role in whether you are going to be successful or on how you will feel when you are done with any challenge.  I had to remember it was my race, my pace, my journey, and I thank Suzy for reminding me about the journey.  I did not do as well as I wanted to do but who cares I finished and that was the main goal.  Nobody promised that this be easy or even get easier with time, I just must remember that quitting is not an option.  One of my heroes always reminds me that all you must do is take a step at a time, be positive and it will be over before you know it. On to more adventures.

Longest mileage so far in 2018

This past weekend was not as cold as last weekend so I was a happy about the slight change of weather.  I still can’t believe I can celebrate temperatures in the 30s as great weather having grown up in a tropical country.  I sometimes wonder who I have become since there is a time not too long ago that I swore I would never run unless I was running for my life or even run outdoors.  Earlier in the week it was very cold and I was talking to a colleague and she saw somebody running outdoors and she pointed out to me and said “look at that crazy person running outside in this cold”.  I remember trying to correct her by saying “you should not call him crazy since you know I also run outdoors in these temperatures” and her response to me was “Oh I know and you are crazy too.  There is no way I would run outdoors when it is very cold”.   The conversation was a reminder that running is such a mental sport and not only physical as I had assumed before I started running.  I was reminded that although I may complain about running outdoors or even actually going out for a run whether it is extremely cold or very hot not everybody is able to do it for various reasons.

It is amazing how we are able to control our minds and decide on what we can or cannot do.  I believe our attitude plays a huge part in determining what our limits are or what we are able to achieve.  This could be done in your professional life or even personal life.  This weekend I run 9 miles and spent most of the time reflecting on how it felt like the first time I run 9 miles last year.  I haven’t run the same distance since early last year since I didn’t have any reason to run that many miles after I did my first half marathon.  I think I celebrated finishing my half marathon and remained in recovery without doing more than 5-6 miles for the rest of the year.  Just like last year, my strategy was to divide up the miles in my head as a pie divided up in thirds so that I don’t think about the whole number 9.  I would try not to focus on how long it would take me but think about different things a mile at a time.  I decided not to run with any music on so that I can pray, try and sing as well as try and focus on my breathing.  Those who know me know that I cannot hold a tune for more than a second so singing was going to be so much fun.

Different bridges a long the way

After about half a mile I gave up on focusing on my breathing because I didn’t like that I sounded like I was huffing and puffing to bring something down.  I decided that would be depressing and I would end up not finishing my run.  I started singing and realized that I never know any lyrics to any songs.  I guess am one of those people who would ask a DJ to play a song and not know the title of the song or even the words of the song and try to sound it out.  😊 My next thought was to focus on the first third of my pie which was my first 3 miles and count how many people I would meet along the way.  For my first 3 miles I met 17 people and 2 deer.  These deer stood by the trail like they either were waiting to say hello to me or were wondering what is this human doing this early in our area.  I had to stop and start walking with the hope that they would move but since I don’t run that fast these animals did not move and just stood in my way.  While I approached them, I found myself coughing loudly and tried to shoo them so that I could continue on my run but they first stood still and watched me until when I guess they realized I was harmless then moved on.  I went past wondering if they stayed laughing at me in their deer language about how I was trying to scare them. I was too scared to take a photo of them LOL.

The second third of my run pie which was from miles 4 to 6 did not have as many people as the first third but I spent most of my time focusing on being positive and determined on finishing that portion of the run because I would be more than half way done.  While I was in my happy space and it was beginning to get a little warmer than I had expected I realized that I was only able to see 7 people during that time.  I finally met up some of my running friends who were doing 10 miles while I was getting closer to my turn around spot which was such a relief to see familiar faces.  While I was warm and excited, I decided I needed to remove my jacket since I was warm and at that point my watch decided it would also take a break.  The watch was able to save slight more of my first half of the run and I was going to have to start my watch again for the 2 half of my run back to my starting point.  Those of you who know about the challenges of gadgets know how frustrating this can be especially when you have a rhythm.  I had no choice but to start the watch again which of course messed up my calculations on how far I had gone with my pie and what I had left to do on my way back.   For about a mile and a half I was just so mad and kept grumbling about my watch and how I need to have it checked or even buy a new one until when I realized that I should not spend too much time complaining about something that is still calculating my mileage. Oh well!

The watch issues happened at about mile 5.5 and I had grumbled enough that I decided to turn on some African music to keep me going until when I was done.  The joys of listening to African music is that not only does it take me to a happy place and make me feel like dancing it makes me stop focusing on what I can or cannot do or how hard the run.  I was able to push myself and of course my highlight at the end of the run was meeting my buddies wrapped up in their blankets still waiting for me to arrive.  I appreciate the friendship and support that we all share during this journey.  Double digits here I come even though it is a sign that the days to the race are also getting closer.

Happy New 2018!

Happy New Year to everyone and I hope this year has everyone thinking of new challenges and goals for themselves to make themselves better this year. Although it might seem like it is a little too late to say Happy New Year to people but I must since this is my first time reaching out to everyone. Although January seemed to be a pretty long month here we are at the beginning of February and know how fast this month flies by if we are not focused.  The beginning of the year always marks the beginning of new opportunities in one's life .This past weekend marks the first year in which I started my blog about my run/fitness journey and although I was consistent for the first half of the year life took over and gosh did I fall off the bandwagon on updating you on my journey.

I took my blog for granted and only saw it just as a way to vent about how I felt when I was training for my first half marathon.  I didn’t realize that I was inspiring some people who were able to make lifestyle changes.  I received a few emails from friends who said that they had come out of their comfort zones and either started running, walking or took on whatever exercise they preferred.  So, what does this mean for me in 2018?  One of my goals is to remain consistent with writing about my journey and to do it for the rest of year.  I plan to share about how I feel, what my struggles are and what my successes are during the journey.  I hope to fight Zeek (my negative personality) that keeps getting in my way and hope to succeed this year with the number of goals I have set for myself. 

I would like to thank those of you who have held me accountable by asking me the status of the blog and why I stopped writing or if I would continue to write.  You know who you are and have been given permission to hold me accountable in the future 😊.  One of the lessons that I learned from last year was that I never set any additional goals after my first half marathon and the Avon 39-mile walk.  So, when I accomplished these big goals I went into chill out mode and even though I did a few 5k and 10k races later in the year I found that I didn’t push myself the way I wanted since I had already achieved my goals earlier in the year.  This year I plan to set additional goals to push myself and see what I can set my mind to do and if am able to pull it off. 

In about 7 weeks I will be running my second half marathon.  My main goal is to do the best I can and enjoy the journey.  I will not beat myself up with how fast or slow I can do the race as long as I finish and get to enjoy every moment.  I am obviously still freaking out like I haven’t done this in the past and will have moments on self-doubt but am determined not to let that take over from the experience.

Run over the 270 highway last weekend

Yesterday, I run 8 miles which I had not done in a long time (more than 6 months) and it felt like I had just started my journey from scratch.  It was 12 degrees when we started and I can't remember when I last run when it was that cold.  For about 2 miles I thought I had lost my fingers and part of my face because it was so so cold.  My water froze and I didn't have any water to drink until when my lovely sister/friend met me and shared some of her water which made a difference and I was able to finish the run 😊  Nobody said this journey would be easy and there are going to be times when I will keep asking myself why I do this to myself but with the amazing support that I have from my run family I know everything will be ok and I shall be successful.  Here is to positive 2018 vibes everyone.

Where have I been?

I would like to personally apologize to all my followers for the silence.  It has been a few months since my last post and to be honest I don’t know where to start.  A lot has been going on but that is no excuse for the silence since the title of the blog is Moments to Miles.   Life takes over and I could come up with so many excuses as to what happened and why I took a break from blogging however, I will be transparent with what has been going on and where I have been. 

The last time I posted I was getting ready to participate in the Avon 39 mile (62.7 km) walk for breast cancer over a period of 2 days.  I was excited about the walk mainly because of the cause and was looking forward to sharing my experience about walking that number of miles in 2 days.  I knew I was going to compare walking to running.  The best way to interpret this was I was going to walk the distance of a full marathon on day 1 and half a marathon on day 2 just in case I ever thought about doing a marathon in the future.  Fast forward I realized that for the first half of the year I had achieved many of my fitness goals was humbled and grateful for what I had been able to accomplish then laziness hit me like a storm.    

Still standing after the walk

The Avon walk ended on a Sunday and by the time I got home that day I had no energy to even thing about writing although I was so excited that I still wanted to share. I started procrastinating about when I would write the post, came up with excuses and before I knew it Zeek (negative inner voice) had taken over.  The interesting thing about life is that you cannot afford to under estimate the power of your mind.  Yes, I was physically exhausted and it took a while for me to recover but that didn’t mean that I should stop typing and or share my story.  Life has a way of taking over or one lets life take over as an excuse to avoid doing anything and you can come up with several excuses.  For example it is too hot or too cold, I think my head hurts, I’ve worked long hours, I would rather go for happy hour, I just had a baby, I just got married, I just started dating, I just broke up, I have to deal with the kids’ home, my hair will get messed up, I cannot exercise alone, the gym is packed, I don’t have gym membership, there are too many people in the gym, am always so good, eat health and exercise all the time it’s time to take a break and the list goes on and on and on.

In my case Zeek took over and although I would like to blame Zeek, I take full responsibility and I cannot get rid of her because she is a part of me.  I started off by telling myself I will share my experience next weekend after I rest and those weekends ended up being months.  I took a break from exercising too and at some point, started to feel guilty because I realized I wasn’t putting myself first.  Having a running group and workout friends makes a huge difference for me because even if I don’t want to do a thing I have people who will hold me accountable. I have struggled and continue to struggle however, I try my best not to give up.  I always tell myself that quitting is for failures and I don’t want to call myself a failure. 

Different Saturday run scenes

To those who have sent me messages asking when I will blog again, have asked what happened, have told me they have made changes due to my posts I thank you.  I thank you for holding me accountable and reminding me that in my own small way I am making a difference by sharing my story.  It is not easy and I don’t’ think it will get easier but I know anybody can do it if I can do it.  For somebody who wasn’t athletic at all when I was growing up I sometimes feel like an Olympian..LOL.  The smile on my face when am done with a race symbolizes that “I did not quit”.  I am very lucky to have role models who inspire me, motivate me and I continue to admire in a positive way.  There are so many times I would rather stay home, watch TV, eat delicious food and relax however, in the long run I don’t think I would like the results of what it would do to my health.  During this time off, I have still been able to run one 10 k race and three 5k races while I try to get out of my own way. The one hour or 30 mins or even 45 mins you spend exercising either 3 or 4 times a week is a gift you are giving yourself.  Whether you like working out with a group or on your own let us continue encouraging each other by taking a day at a time.  Am back and here is to many more moments to miles.

Does the statement, you are what you eat true??

I have always been curious about the validity of the statement you are what you eat?  From fitness pages to diet promoters you always hear trainers or coaches talk about how one should always watch what they eat because it affects your body.  When you are told that diet is 80% in your weight loss journey and exercise is 20% makes it more challenging for one to stick to as a lifestyle.

Did it but didn't appreciate it.

I have been working out somewhat consistently for about 4 years however, my diet hasn’t changed that much over several years. About 8 years ago, I decided to go onto a weight loss journey and I was so disciplined that I obsessed about how much I ate as well as made sure that I worked out consistently.  I lost the weight but I don’t think I recognized the effort I had made mentally and never saw myself as having achieved anything despite the hard work.  Life happens and I fell off the bandwagon and went back to being “comfortable” in my own skin.  I met somebody who once told me that she knew I would not keep the weight off and I recall shrugging my shoulders and pretended to ignore what she said but to be honest it cut deep. Yes, the weight came back but that still does not define me as a person.

I love good food, I believe the best time to socialize with loved ones is over food and you always get to learn more about people when you are sharing a meal.  Whether it is brunch, lunch, dinner, coffee or even happy hour I think people are usually their authentic self when sharing a meal. Two weeks ago, I decided I would keep a promise to myself and watch what I eat while I continue with my journey of being a better me.  I decided to do a 10-day cleanse to reset my body from all the sugar and junk food I had been eating from mid-March since I was still celebrating my half marathon and my birthday.   Talk about taking a celebration too far and I was not guilty at all.  While I was on the detox I continued to go running and it was so rough out there.  Without food in my system I felt like I was carrying 4 people on my back while I tried to run.  I now understand why people are advised not to exercise while doing a detox. 

One of the things am going to observe over a long period is if am going to become a stronger runner, if my body will change, if I will be able to sleep better, how my ankle feels and how I will feel overall.  I don’t expect to have changes immediately since I didn’t get to where I am in a day.  My goal is to remain consistent and enjoy the journey while am at it. I don’t expect to deprive myself of any delicious food but I also don’t expect to over indulge. I will not only use the scale to record my progress but also use a tape measure because there can be changes to your body that cannot be measured by the number on the scale.  Of late the scale is not my friend so we are getting a divorce.  I know there will be days when am frustrated and others where I will continue to be happy but the one thing I know am going to do is enjoy every moment.  None of this will be important if I don’t feel good about myself and are satisfied with every single milestone whether it is big, small or not even visible. 

 In 3 weeks, I will be taking part in the 2 day Avon 39 mile (62.76 km) walk. Training for the walks while also running has been challenging but as somebody told me the other day is that the important things is that it is getting done.  Walking these miles will be a very tiny contribution in the fight against breast cancer.  I will not only be walking in memory of my late Aunt Elousa but for some of my amazing great friends who have fought the fight and are here as a testimony that they are warriors.  I will also walk in memory of those who have lost the battle but did their best.  Here is to a new chapter, a new year and work towards making myself healthier, stronger and a better me.  In the words of my fierce coach remember it is “your race, your pace, your journey”.  Let me also see if you are what you eat is a true statement?

What next, two weeks after the half marathon?

It is two weeks since when I ran my first half marathon.  I was very sore for several days and I think swore I would never do this again.  My first workout class last week was a cycle class which was 4 days after the race and before I got back to running.  My first run was 6 days after the race and I think my legs felt like bricks but I was able to do 5 miles that morning.  Last week was our last training week for the 10-mile program that we started 12 weeks ago and I can't believe how fast time has gone by.  The best part with our training run this past Wednesday was that it was my birthday. Some of my friends who had sent me messages asked me if I was going to do something different apart from running and I told them that I would take the day off, spoil myself and yes, I would still go out running since it was the last training night.  We did our training and met as a group to celebrate my birthday with drinks and cake.  Thanks band, I love you all.

My swings will make me go faster..vroom

I signed up and was selected to do the Cherry Blossom 10-miler which was my first 10-miler last year.  I remember how nervous I was last year and knew that if I had done 13.1 miles then in two weeks I would not have a problem doing 10 miles.  A few of my very experience runner friends had told me that running 10 miles after the half would be a lot easier however, I had my own reservations based on how I felt.  As the days got closer to the race I felt like I was not ready and I became nervous since the Cherry Blossom 10 miler has a time limit and if you don't make by a certain time you would have to be stopped from completing the race.  I always set high expectations of myself and when I feel that I cannot get to them I feel like I have failed.  While I struggled, and got stressed about doing the 10 miles I reached out to a very close friend and told her how I felt and what was keeping me awake. One of the advantages of having an amazing support system is that they reminded me about what I had accomplished, how hard I worked and that I should stop and take it all in and bask in my own glory.

Just like any other person I have my own struggles where I get into my own head about what I can or cannot do.  I freak out and have doubts that make me stop believing in myself and make me feel like giving up.  A few days before the Cherry Blossom race I decided that I would opt out of the 10 miles and do the 5k race.  I know I would have probably finished the race however, I did not have the mental strength to hang in there for 10 miles. I did very well during the 5k race and surpassed the goal I had set for myself for the race.  Does this mean that I failed or quit?  Obviously not although a part of me felt that I had disappointed myself until when I was reminded that there will be very many opportunities in the future and I did not have anything to prove to anybody.  Does this mean that my journey ends now that I managed to do a half marathon?  Of course, not I will keep running and will continue to sign up for races to see what I can do since this is my journey, my race and my pace.

Last year, when I signed up for the half marathon I wanted to lose at least 20 - 25 lbs (9 - 13 kgs) before the race. I had read somewhere that when one loses about 10 lbs they can improve their speed by about a minute and I was determined to make sure that I lost the weight.  I told myself that with that amount of weight down I would be able to do the race without a problem and even be a lot faster in my own opinion.  By race date I think I had only lost about 8 lbs which was less than 50% of the goal I had set.  If my only focus was on losing weight, there is no way I would have done the race.  I realize that we choose what we want to believe to get to accomplish what we want. If you want to accomplish something in life, you will do whatever it takes to get it done. We must learn to stop and silence the negative voices or stories we tell ourselves and go for what we would like to achieve.

I finally got it done - 13.1 miles - check.

It is exactly 3 years since I started this journey with running after I broke my ankle.  I had to take a week off from blogging to allow myself to think about the experience and take in everything leading to the race and the race itself. This past Sunday March 19, 2017 was the date I was able to conquer one of the biggest challenges I had set my mind to do this year which was the half marathon distance (13.1 miles/21 kms).  I had been told by my Coach Karen in the fall last year that she believed that I was ready to do a half marathon this year and that as long as I trained for it I would be ok.  All the people I have run with in the past year or more believed in me more than I believed in myself and I decided to stop putting myself down and do my best.  This journey has not been easy and there is no way I would have done this if I had not surrounded myself with people who are not only there for me but influenced me to push myself and do better. 

In the past several weeks I have shared with you how it felt like when I went up in mileage in preparation for the race.  The half marathon was done in Sarasota, Florida which meant I would have to fly out of the Washington, DC area to go to Florida for the race.  I traveled with a couple of friends and we spent time visiting friends'parents as well as touring and going out to eat.  Having a busy weekend was a distraction for me so I was not able to focus on the big race on Sunday morning. 

Race day:

Saved until the end

The start time was 6:45 am and we got there by 6:00 am.  I was nervous but not too nervous until when we came out of the car to get ready to drop off our bags and meet other friends.  In the process of looking for where to drop off our bags it was only natural for me to start looking at runners bibs to notice who were running the half and those who were going to run the relay. Most of the people who were out there had what I defined as athletes bodies and never looked like I did physically. I could not relate to anybody and felt totally intimidated.  I remember saying I had not seen any plus size person and the ones I saw were going to be spectators.  I panicked and actually got emotional because at that point I thought I had bitten more than I could handle.  Jackie had to calm me down and remind me that I was ready since for some reason I just could not stop crying and that I should hold my tears for when I was done.  I had all the members of team remind me to trust my training and that I was going to do great. 

The race started and I had no choice but have my game face on for the race.  It was not easy but it got done. Seeing the band members while on the race course gave me energy while we cheered for each other.  I was doing ok until about mile 8 when I felt I was getting too hot.  There were two couples who were in front of me and one of these couples were wearing sweatshirts.  I just didn't understand how they would still be wearing sweatshirts while I felt I was melting and was running with the sun.  By mile 9 I had cooled off since there was a breeze and I had stopped judging these couples who were still ahead of me.  Mile 9 was tough for me until when I got to mile 10. I had to change my mantra to "trust your training you got this" and that is what I kept telling myself. I knew what it felt like to run 12 miles and all I wanted was to get there and will figure out how I will get to the end. I got a burst of energy and went past the two couples who had practically run most of the race near me.

Getting to mile 12 was emotional for me because I knew had done most of the race and just had to finish the last 1.1 mile.  This mile was dedicated to my friend Corynne who was not with us on the trip and usually says you can slow down but don't stop and you cannot quit.  I did not quit and kept going until when I saw the mile marker 13.  I could not believe that I had actually made it to mile 13 and could not control myself but start crying.  My amazing friends saw me and just started screaming and cheering me on while I approached them.  They then surprised me with a sign and I don' think I will ever forget how I felt at that time.  The love, the support, the excitement that I was almost done is what gave me the energy to cross the finish line.

I once heard Steve Harvey on the radio station talk about how you are able to know a person’s character by the people they surround themselves with because you became just like them.  I am proud to say am a runner and have the most amazing running support group anybody would wish for in their lives.  Some have asked me if I would run a half marathon again and my answer right now is that I know I can do it but am not sure I will do it again just yet.